Hope Across Oceans: How One Family Found Support Through Chosen
Parenting is never easy and parenting a child with a history of early adversity while living in another country brings a unique set of challenges. For one family living in Taiwan, those challenges became undeniable shortly after adopting their daughter, Sage, through the local child welfare system.
Jay and Carmen had done their homework, reading every book they could find on attachment and trauma-informed parenting. Still, when their daughter came home at 20 months, the reality of daily life was far more complex than they had imagined.
“We were aware that attachment issues could come up,” Carmen shared. “But you always have that hopeful thought: ‘Maybe that won’t happen with us.’ Still, we were prepared to look for signs.”
What they encountered were more than just signs. They were faced with behaviors that left them feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to respond.
One summer, when their older daughters returned to the U.S. for a visit, Jay and Carmen found themselves alone with their youngest, and things came into sharper focus.
“I realized the older kids were actually serving as a buffer,” Carmen said. “When it was just her and me, I thought, ‘Wow, we really have issues.’ On the surface, it felt like things were stabilizing. But with just the two of us, I realized I don’t know how to handle this.”
They began searching for help but hit a frustrating roadblock. Many U.S.-based therapists were unable to work with families living abroad due to state licensing regulations.
Then, a counselor in Georgia referred them to Chosen. That connection changed everything.
Working with Meredith, their Chosen Care Manager, helped them reframe their understanding—not only of their daughter, but of themselves as parents. “We had so much head knowledge that wasn’t translating into our parenting instincts,” Carmen said. “Meredith helped bridge that gap.”
One of the most important shifts came in how they viewed their daughter’s behavior.
“We used to look at our three-year-old and think she was being manipulative,” Jay said. “But Meredith helped us reframe it. She’s not manipulating, she’s dysregulated. She’s having a hard time. That shift in mindset really matters. It leads to a completely different response and helps you parent with more compassion.”
Carmen described one particularly difficult moment: “She’ll ask for a hug, and the next second she’s swatting at me. It’s frustrating—you think, ‘But you asked for this!’ Chosen helped me understand that it’s not intentional. It’s how trauma has rewired her brain. It’s a reflex.”
Just as important as the tools and strategies was the emotional support they, as caregivers, received. “Meredith always believed in us,” Carmen said. “There was never any shame, just encouragement and support. That made such a difference.”
They also appreciated Chosen’s focus on the whole family, not just one child. “What we were learning with Sage started spilling over to our other kids too. It was all connected.”
While parenting still comes with its ups and downs, the family now feels more equipped and confident.
“Some days still feel like we’re taking a step back,” Carmen admitted. “But now, we understand what’s going on, and we know what to try next. That sense of direction changes everything.”
Chosen’s unique telehealth Parent Coaching model brings our services to wherever families are. It bridges a gap for those in under-resourced communities – even across borders. From Taiwan to the U.S., this family discovered that hope travels well.
*Names have been changed.
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