New Parents, New Paths: The Donald Story
When Sarah and Leo welcomed their three-year-old nephew, Ethan, into their lives, they sensed a profound shift ahead. Guided by a deep commitment to family and love, they were eager to provide him with a stable home. However, having never parented a child before, they were venturing into uncharted territory, fully aware that Ethan had already faced trauma and hardship in his early life.
Their journey led them to Chosen through a connection with Community Based Care provider, Belong. They were matched with Care Manager, Meredith Hall who became an essential part of their team. Meredith introduced them to techniques that helped them understand Ethan’s actions not as defiance but as expressions of past trauma.
This shift in perspective was crucial for Sarah and Leo, as they learned to recognize the needs behind Ethan’s behaviors, understanding that there was often more beneath the surface than met the eye. Food hoarding, for instance, was a significant source of frustration in their home. No matter how often they reassured Ethan, Sarah still found wrappers and half-eaten snacks hidden in his room. She was disgusted each time she encountered weeks-old crusts or candy wrappers under the mattress. “Why doesn’t he believe us that there will always be food?” she’d vent to Leo, frustrated by his apparent refusal to trust.
As they dug deeper, they began to recognize how Ethan’s history of trauma was causing his chronic battle with feeling unsafe and might be the reason he clung so fiercely to these hidden stashes. His survival instincts showed up in other ways too, too. In an instant, Ethan could go from calm to screaming, kicking, and crying over what seemed like the smallest inconvenience. They shared feeling like they were tiptoeing through their own home, never certain of what might cause him to spiral.
With Meredith’s guidance, Sarah and Leo incorporated new approaches into their lives, such as clearly expressing their feelings, recognizing that Ethan’s behavior was not personal even when it felt like it, and stepping away from arguments to cool down before reacting. These changes brought newfound confidence to their actions and words—especially when comforting Ethan in moments of upset or anger. They discovered that this type of connection was essential for helping Ethan heal.
Chosen not only provided tools for navigating Ethan’s immediate behaviors but also encouraged Sarah and Leo to build lasting strategies for family well-being. They learned
how to create routines that fostered security and stability, which were vital for Ethan who needed reassurance amidst the potential chaos of change.
Sarah noted that these practices helped them not only with Ethan, but also improved their overall family dynamic, as they began to communicate more openly with one another.
For Sarah, Chosen’s trauma-informed approach filled in significant gaps in their parenting knowledge. She shared that before their journey with Chosen, they struggled to grasp the “dos and don’ts” of parenting a child with a complex history. However, with Chosen’s guidance throughout the treatment process, they received vital tools and resources, enabling them to support Ethan emotionally—even on his hardest days.
As a result of this newfound understanding and approach, a renewed sense of peace settled into their home. Their weekly meetings with Meredith provided a steady, supportive presence that allowed Sarah and Leo to feel confident in the small, gradual transformations they experienced within their family, bringing healing into their home.
Reflecting on Chosen’s support, Sarah states, “the impact Chosen has left in our family was life changing.” Ethan is now more at ease—testing in the normal range for disruptive trauma symptoms like anger, aggression, and anxiety —and Sarah and Leo feel equipped with valuable parenting tools. They are hopeful and confident in the foundation they’ve built, committed to supporting Ethan with compassion as he grows.
Real Connection. Real Change.
When you support Chosen, families like The Donald’s get the support and education they need to heal and thrive. Your investment in essential programs and services provide lasting solutions to the child welfare crisis in America and support parents and caregivers in crisis. Maria and Nadine deserve to be supported on their journey towards healthy connection. Join us in making a difference — invest in the future of countless families and children today.
Chosen Walks Alongside the Caregivers
Every year, Chosen helps hundreds of adoptive families build bonds of trust. And we’re looking for partners to help heal their heartbreak. Your gift gives families the assurance they need to provide attachment and permanency for kids who desperately need it.
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* Names have been changed
