When We Value Something, We Hold Space For It. What We Treasure, We Esteem.
To be valued is to know, deep in your core, that you matter—not for what you do, but for who you are. It’s the assurance that you are worthy of love and care.
For children who have experienced the trauma of abuse and neglect, their sense of worth has been shattered. Their past has created a false narrative that sounds like: “You are not enough. You don’t matter.” Even in a new home or a new family, they struggle to believe in their own worth.
They likely won’t come right out and say that. More than likely, these internalized messages create a false belief system expressed through behavior. Sometimes, these beliefs don’t emerge right away—they may emerge many years after a child is in a new home.
Consistently reinforcing messages to our children like “You matter. Your feelings, ideas, thoughts and words are important. YOU belong.” is critical for their development and sense of being valued.
Being Valued Begins with Recognition By Us.
It’s cultivated through purposeful words and actions that reinforce worth. A simple “I’m grateful for you” or “I love who you are” can shift a child’s internal narrative over time and help them feel valued.
However, sometimes we create barriers that prevent us from truly valuing others.
Here are some ways to get started
- Judgment
- Presumption
- Busyness
- Superiority
Truly Valuing Someone Requires Humility and Intentionality—A Choice to See the Inherent Worth in Every Person.
When children know they are valued, they develop confidence, resilience, and the ability to form deep relationships. They move from surviving to thriving. Of course, this doesn’t happen overnight—for them or for us. And it’s not a linear path.
Valuing others is a daily choice, a moment-by-moment practice. When we offer it freely, we create spaces where healing and connection can happen — not only transforming them but us, too.
To Value Someone Requires that We See and Hear Them.
If you missed my last two blogs unpacking this, you can check them out here:
Creating a circle of connection is a million little ties that bind us together forming something that cannot be broken.
Connection begins with a choice.
Next month, we will delve into what it means to be known—how belonging builds healthy connection and strengthens relationships.
