Lowering the Bar
William Shakespeare said “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” When parenting children with a history of trauma, expectations that are too high not only create heartache, but also cause attachment to be more difficult. Because we want the best for our children, it’s only natural to create standards in our homes. However, children from […]
TBRI Life Value Phrases
TBRI Life Values are short scripts designed to guide children toward optimal behavior. What we love most about the TBRI Life Values is that they create a language of respect in families, groups, and classrooms. Remember that TBRI Life Values are most effective when they’re taught proactively during moments of calm when children are ready to […]
Real Talk: An Interview with an Adoptive Mom on Transracial Parenting
Katie, Chosen’s Social Media Director, and her husband are Caucasian parents of a Haitian son and a biological son. The boys are 17 months apart. What follows is my conversation with Katie about simultaneously raising black and white children. Staci: I know that you adore your family and wouldn’t change a thing about it. […]
Real Talk: Interview with a Foster Mom
This week I sat down with Shaleigh, a current foster mom, and asked about her journey of fostering and adopting. Staci: Tell me a little bit about your experience with foster care. Shaleigh: My husband and I have been foster parents to nine children over the last two and a half years. We have adopted […]
Build Connection to Your Child with Eye Contact
BY STACI THOMAS Children often struggle with attaching to their caregivers when they are first placed in a new environment. At the same time, parents sometimes find attachment to the new children in their home challenging. Bonding in such situations can be tricky, as both parents and children suddenly find themselves in the position of […]
How Grief Goes Unnoticed in Foster Children – and the Underlying Trauma It Can Cause
I have attended several funerals during my lifetime. At one, when I was still in high school, I remember watching the mother of a friend throw herself over her son’s casket, unable to contain her emotions. Those of us who were there sat and stared, stunned, but silent. Eventually, a much older lady with gray […]
The Importance of Playful Engagement
One of my favorite parenting strategies is one that is so often forgotten — playful engagement. It’s easy to see why. We spend so much time focused on correcting our children’s behaviors that we don’t spend enough time connecting with them. Who has time for play when the goal is behavior modification? We want obedience. […]
Teaching Self-Regulation
Some mornings my youngest son goes through two or three pairs of socks before he finds a pair that does not bug him — he may have a couple sensory processing disorder issues. This used to be more of an issue when he could not communicate his needs appropriately and socks ended up thrown across […]
