Connecting with teens can be hard. Video games, earbuds, and social media command much of their attention. One-word answers leave caregivers wondering, “What are they thinking? What are they feeling? Do they even care?” Many teens keep their emotions hidden, while others huff, puff, and stomp off when parents try to enter their world.
It’s not easy to connect with someone who seems to be shutting you out. Shared journaling is one tool to build relationship without the conversation feeling forced. It’s a way for kids to express how they feel at their own pace, in their own words, and without the interference of non-verbal cues that can create barriers (“What’s THAT look about, Mom?!”).
When my grown daughters were younger, we took turns answering questions in a journal and leaving it on one another’s pillow each week. This simple act allowed me entry into the heart and mind of my girls, their hopes and dreams, interests, friends, and struggles. It also gave my kids a chance to learn about the teen version of their mom—and to see what we have in common (“Seriously, mom, you’ve been downhill skiing? Get out!”).
I learned that I didn’t need to always write something wise or motherly. I simply started the conversation through open-ended writing prompts and listened to what my girls shared, without correction.