A New Beginning for a Kinship Family
When Steve and his wife Angela suddenly found themselves welcoming their nephew into their home, they didn’t expect the road ahead to be easy. With three sons in their home, adding a new child was a significant shift. But there was a deeper challenge: their nephew had experienced severe neglect, which brought a host of emotional and behavioral struggles.
“We were thrown into it pretty quickly,” Steve recalls. “We didn’t have the luxury of time to really prepare. We found out our nephew was moving in, and suddenly, everything changed.”
Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
Luckily, Steve had a connection to Chosen through his previous involvement as a donor. “I knew Jenni, the CEO, and had supported Chosen in the past,” he explains. “But when we found ourselves in this situation, it wasn’t just about donating anymore—it was about getting the help we truly needed.”
One of the first breakthroughs came when Steve and Angela learned more about how trauma affects children, particularly in terms of brain development, attachment, and behavior.
“The real unlock for us was learning about trauma and how it impacts everything—brain development, attachment, and even emotional regulation,” Steve shares. “Our nephew had been severely neglected, and he was struggling with underdeveloped parts of his brain, which made his behavior even more challenging.”
With this new understanding, Steve and Angela were able to reframe their nephew’s actions through a different lens. They weren’t just dealing with a rebellious child—they were supporting a child who was struggling to trust, to feel safe, and to understand how to communicate his needs.
Finding Safety and Connection
For Steve and his family, the first step in the healing process was helping their nephew feel safe. “He had never really felt safe before,” Steve says. “And so much of the battle was just about showing him that he was loved and safe, and that we would be consistent, even when things got tough.”
He reflects on how challenging the emotional rollercoaster was, with moments of withdrawal followed by emotional explosions.
“It was hard, but we learned that trauma affects everything. The emotional ups and downs weren’t a reflection of how much we loved him—they were part of the healing process,” Steve explains.
In addition to receiving direct support from Chosen, the family was taught how to communicate these insights to their three sons, helping them understand their nephew’s behavior in age-appropriate ways.
“It wasn’t just about us,” Steve says. “We had to make sure our boys also understood
Building Parenting Confidence
After months of learning and support, Steve and Angela began to feel more confident in their ability to support their nephew. “At first, it was overwhelming,” he admits. “We didn’t know how things were going to work. But with the guidance from Chosen, we felt better equipped to handle the situation. We weren’t just guessing anymore—we had the tools to navigate it.”
Small Moments of Trust, Big Steps Towards Healing
One of the most significant moments came when their nephew began to open up emotionally. “He had always kept things to himself, but one day, he showed us a drawing. It might seem like a small thing, but it was huge. It was the first time he let us in on something personal,” Steve recalls.
This moment of vulnerability was a sign that their nephew was beginning to trust them. “The art was just a small part of a bigger picture,” Steve reflects. “It showed us that he was starting to feel safe enough to let us in.”
This growing connection led to even deeper breakthroughs. One afternoon, after a minor conflict between the boys, their nephew shared something profound with Steve and Angela. “He said, ‘I need to stop lying to myself about what happened to me,’” Steve says, his voice full of emotion. “It was the most clearly he had ever talked about his past, and he said it in front of the other boys. It was a big deal.”
A New Chapter of Hope and Healing
Today, Steve and his family have experienced the transformation that Chosen’s support helped facilitate. “We’re not out of the woods yet, but I’m so proud of how far we’ve come,” Steve says. “Chosen has been a huge part of our journey. They didn’t just give us information—they gave us a roadmap to better understand what our nephew had been through, how to support him, and how to create a safe environment for him to heal.”
Reflecting on his nephew’s progress, Steve adds, “Change is slow. It’s like melting an iceberg with a hair dryer, but it’s happening. Our nephew is starting to open up, connect, and share parts of himself that we didn’t think we’d ever see.”
Gratitude for Chosen’s Support and Guidance
Steve is thankful not only for Chosen’s expertise but also for the community they’ve become a part of. “We’ve gained so much confidence in our ability to help our nephew, but we’re still learning. There are still moments when it’s hard, but we know we’re on the right path,” he says. “We’re incredibly grateful for the work Chosen is doing, and for the personal experience we’ve had. It’s been life-changing for our family.”
Chosen Walks Alongside the Caregivers
Every year, Chosen helps hundreds of adoptive families build bonds of trust. And we’re looking for partners to help heal their heartbreak. Your gift gives families the assurance they need to provide attachment and permanency for kids who desperately need it.
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* Names have been changed
