Foster and Adoption: Language and Sharing Imperfections
BY STACI THOMAS The words we use have a tremendous impact on those around us. It’s crucial to choose our language carefully when speaking of adoption and foster children. We should strive to use phrases that reflect how deeply we care. This means we need to avoid words that cast judgment on the child, paint […]
Navigating Foster Care During the Holidays
The stockings are hung, by the chimney with care, in hopes that…In hopes of what? For many children who have been placed into the foster care system, they have come from homes where there was no Christmas, there was no hope. They have come from families that did not celebrate a holiday. They have come […]
Helping Young People in Foster Care Through the Holidays
“Holidays are hard even when u have found “new family” because u still feel awkward and ur mom and dad are not there so though it is easier it sill makes u sad because u are reminded of what u don’t have.” — FosterClub member Divine, age 21, from Wisconsin, in foster care more than […]
Three Essential Pillars for Foster and Adopted Children
In 2008, an Australian psychologist named Howard Bath published an article (linked below) called “The Three Pillars of Trauma Informed Care.” Nearly a decade later, his work holds true as we continue to see the benefits of using trauma-informed interventions with foster and adopted children. Occasionally returning to the basics of trauma-informed care is essential […]
Ten Keys to Heal Trauma in the Adopted and Foster Child
1. Trauma creates fear and stress sensitivity in children. Even for a child adopted from birth, their internal systems may already be more sensitive and fearful than that of a child remaining with his biological parents. You must also consider the first nine months in which the child developed. These early experiences as well could […]
Who is Going to Support You?
To mark my 40th birthday, I decided to run a marathon. My husband and children were supportive of my dream, but I trained without them. My training was hard and long, but on the morning of the race, I felt prepared for the grueling run. I expected to finish in under four hours, and I […]
The Repair of Early Trauma: A “Bottom Up” Approach
Summary Did you know that when we say a child has an attachment disorder, it is often not the whole picture? It is only one part of a seven-piece jigsaw puzzle called ‘developmental trauma’. By putting together the puzzle, we can understand how a child’s adverse childhood experiences have shaped their emotional world and outward […]
Three Questions for Teaching Self-Regulation
Self regulation is a key component of the TBRI Empowering Principles. What do we mean by self regulation? We love this explanation from a child who attended one of our programs in the past: “Calm yourself by yourself.” Self regulation is also one of the primary expectations of children and adolescents in schools. Whether students are […]
Six Easy Ways to Create Attachment in Adoption
Dr. Karyn Purvis, author of The Connected Child, is nothing if she’s not practical. Her practicality is one of the things I like best about her—she gets that parents are busy and often don’t have time for “pie in the sky” theoretical questions. When I interviewed her for the Creating a Family Radio show on Raising and […]
Lowering the Bar
William Shakespeare said “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” When parenting children with a history of trauma, expectations that are too high not only create heartache, but also cause attachment to be more difficult. Because we want the best for our children, it’s only natural to create standards in our homes. However, children from […]
TBRI Life Value Phrases
TBRI Life Values are short scripts designed to guide children toward optimal behavior. What we love most about the TBRI Life Values is that they create a language of respect in families, groups, and classrooms. Remember that TBRI Life Values are most effective when they’re taught proactively during moments of calm when children are ready to […]
Real Talk: An Interview with an Adoptive Mom on Transracial Parenting
Katie, Chosen’s Social Media Director, and her husband are Caucasian parents of a Haitian son and a biological son. The boys are 17 months apart. What follows is my conversation with Katie about simultaneously raising black and white children. Staci: I know that you adore your family and wouldn’t change a thing about it. […]
