Helping families heal through coaching, counseling and therapeutic services.

- Video + Connecting, Empowering, Challenges -

Check In with Your Kids and Yourself!

By Nikki Spencer LBSW, TBRI® Practitioner

If you ever feel overwhelmed or like you have parent burnout, try to remember this easy parenting tip.


Check In with Your Kids and Yourself!


Good morning. I’m Nikki with Chosen. Today we’re going to talk about a proactive strategy we developed called check-in. It’s a reminder to prompt us for those times that we may feel like things are getting out of control or we can’t handle a situation.

The C is for consider that you or your child may be in fight, flight, or freeze mode, which will require a different kind of intervention. Rather than if you weren’t at that level and if you were calmer.

The H. Has your child eaten or hydrated in the past two hours? This is very important in staying regulated and being able to move from one part of our brain to the other.

The E. Explain that you are here to help them. Everyone wants to know when they’re having a difficult situation that someone is on their team.

The C. Calm yourself. It’s okay sometimes if you as the parent need to take a little time out, take some deep breaths, and count backward.

The K. Keep the angle of connection in mind. We always want to try to end any difficult situation or meltdown with a stronger connection. Helping kids learn that they can overcome something. You can get through it together.

The I. Identify the need behind the behavior. Every behavior is communicating something. So be a detective and figure out the need. It can help.

The last one, the N. Notice what’s going on in your body. The more we can be aware of when we’re getting to our breaking point and what’s happening within our bodies, the more we can know how to proactively keep ourselves from getting to that place. Or know we need to walk away or ask for help.

So thank you for joining us today. If you want to check in with more parents in this situation, please go to the website and look for our parent-to-parent support groups, and also any other resources we have. Thank you.

Free Resource


If you want more parenting tips geared towards families impacted by foster care, adoption, and kinship care, please visit our resource library. If you need personalized trauma-responsive care for your family, we would love to help! Contact us to learn more about the ways Chosen Care can support your family.
Start Healing. Reach out today.
Connect with OUR Intake Specialist

Our talented intake specialist Meredith is likely to be the first person to welcome you. Reach out today and start healing today. 

Become a part of chosen's parenting community

Trending Resources

Tips + Tricks + Tools

Chosen Parenting Resources